Monday, March 21, 2011

Identity Crisis by Lila Munro

Identity Crisis a new release by Lila Munro is one hot story! - Multiple Partners, BDSM. Lila is sharing an excerpt today. Enjoy!

Someone once said, you never truly know a person,

Chad Dearborn was raised with a silver spoon in his mouth. He was given everything a person could want and more, country clubs were his daycares and Paris and London his playgrounds. Heir to Dearborn Inc., Chad stands to inherit a veritable fortune. But the problem is his parents want to gift him the perfect wife to go with it. A woman in the form of a molded, plastic, jet set dolly. Certainly not Chad’s idea of an ideal mate. He wants a woman that can hold her own, in and out of the bedroom. Who knew he’d find her in one of Portland’s hottest leather clubs? Chad was fascinated by what went on there, but something just wouldn’t let him cross that line.

until you sleep with them.

Country clubs? Europe? The closest Tori Myers ever came to those things were the covers of magazines. With an absent father, a less than attentive mother and nowhere to go, Tori finds herself drawn to an alternative lifestyle at the tender age of eighteen. Vertigo is a treasure chest of Dom’s willing to give her anything she wants. But when Chad Dearborn walks through the door, Tori figures out sometimes what your heart wants isn’t necessarily what your body is willing to compromise to have.

Or do you?

The thing that just wouldn’t let Chad cross the line with his sexuality has come home to roost. And as a result, he's faced with a huge decision. Accept who he is and what he wants. Or continue to fight the biggest identity crisis of his life.

Available at: All Romance




An electric hum sizzled across Tori Dearborn’s sun kissed skin, setting the tiny hairs on her arms and on the back of her neck on edge as she stared at the outfit hanging over the closet door in her bedroom. It was quite a number. A set of red leather chaps accompanied a red leather corset and matching g-string. Tori walked over and buried her face in the chaps, inhaling deeply, and a slow, delicious warmth enveloped her sending a dull ache straight to the core of her womb. Leather. New leather. God how that smell turned her on.

Tori reluctantly pulled her face away from the chaps long enough to notice the accessories set upon her satin covered pillow along with an envelope. She walked over and picked up the red leather handcuffs that lay there. Her fingers glided over the smooth edges of the restraints wishing her husband was home right this minute to try them out on her. But Chad was away on business. It was the first time in their five year marriage he would miss their anniversary, but clearly by the gifts he’d left behind this morning before leaving, he was anticipating quite a homecoming to make up for it.

Never in her wildest imagination would Tori have ever thought to marry someone like Chad Dearborn. Not only was he a successful VP at a top notch land development firm, he’d had the good fortune of growing up in the lap of luxury. He’d enjoyed the best private education money could buy and all the amenities to go along with it. Private country club memberships, private music lessons from some of the world’s elite musicians, and European vacations. But none of those things compared to the one thing about Chad that had almost kept Tori from marrying him. Chad was the most conservative and restrained man she’d ever known. When he’d discovered her lifestyle choices Chad was less than thrilled, but he professed a love so deep he agreed to try to somehow make their relationship work through some creative compromises.

For three hundred sixty two days a year, Tori would be the model conservative wife. She would dress appropriately for the country club life, mingle in all the right circles, and attend all the necessary functions. That wasn’t to say that the lifestyle was completely absent those three hundred sixty two days. In the privacy of their own home, Tori sat at Chad’s feet and he fed her. He put her on a pedestal and she wanted for nothing. And in the bedroom he would occasionally pull out a silk scarf and blindfold her. But the full on, leather and bondage games that Tori thrived on were restricted to special occasions. On those three days of the year, Christmas Eve, Tori’s birthday, and her and Chad’s anniversary, Tori was allowed to be the leather loving submissive that Chad had found in a less than conservative club one night while he was out rebelling against his parents desires for him to marry a stick figure Barbie from the jet set.

It wasn’t love at first sight by any means. In fact, Tori resisted him with sass and even tried to turn him off.

“Hey, Tori,” J.C., Tori’s best friend, said. “Baby Trump over there’s giving you the eye.”

“You mean Richie Rich?” Tori laughed. She’d noticed him when he first walked into Vertigo. “I don’t think he realizes he’s not in Kansas anymore.”

The man J.C. referred to sat at the end of the long stainless steel bar in his faded Lucky low slung jeans and indigo ED Hardy tee shirt. He stuck out like a sore thumb as everyone around him was wearing black or red and most of the attire was leather. Tori could plainly tell he didn’t belong in Vertigo, but he didn’t seem daunted by the fact that he was an anomaly and made himself at home on the black leather clad stool with the big silver rivets all around the edges. Completely oblivious to anyone else, he nursed a tumbler of whiskey and steadily stared at Tori.

“Maybe you should take him on the tornado tour.” J.C. laughed cynically and twirled her flogger around her wrist.

“I don’t think he’s my type, J.C. Maybe you should be the one to break him in…not so gently. He looks like a sub to me. He’s more your type.”

J.C. alit from her stool and left Tori’s side. She walked down the bar and stopped beside the man that didn’t belong. After a few words were exchanged J.C. came back and once again took up residence on the stool next to Tori.

“Well, Madame? Any luck?” Tori asked and took another sip of her Royal Flush.

“Nope. He says to tell you someday he’s gonna marry you,” J.C. told her and laughed again.

“Whatever. He’s just another rich boy out to sow his wild oats before settling down with whichever playmate of the year mommy and daddy have picked out for him.” Tori hopped off her stool. “However, he’s the worst dressed one I’ve ever seen in here. Most of them at least try to fit in for their one night of glory.”

Tori’s eyes met the man’s in a steady gaze and as she maintained that contact, she walked across the dance floor to a Master named Rio. Rio wasn’t a Master by accident. He could take a submissive where he or she wanted to go so well, they often times never realized the trip was so painful. Never breaking eye contact with the man on the stool, Tori allowed Rio to claim her for the night. Rio ran his big hand down the thin silver chain that hung on his belt, took the clasp at the end and attached it to the open lock collar Tori wore around her neck. She shot the man a taunting smile and locked her bright blue eyes on his rich chocolate ones as Rio led her away to a private room.

It wasn’t until the third week in a row of the strange straight-laced vanilla looking prep coming into Vertigo that Tori finally approached him. For three weeks in a row, he’d made his presence known, ordered a whiskey, sat on the end stool and watched as Tori would surrender to another and leave the bar area to go to a private or public room to enjoy her Dom’s company. Every time he came into Vertigo someone would approach him but he refused every single advance each time sending Tori the same message—someday he was gonna marry her. Right. She didn’t know what he was smoking before he came to the club or what he might be having with his whiskey, but Cinderella was a fairy tale and she didn’t wear leather.

“Just what the hell is your game anyway?” Tori asked the man when she finally submitted to his patience.

“No game. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and someday I will make you my wife,” the man answered and smiled at her.

It was the first time he’d smiled since he’d been coming in the club. Normally he just shared in her staring contest without flinching. His smile was nice and it warmed Tori’s heart.

“You don’t even know me.” Tori licked her bottom lip and drew it under her teeth while staring at his perfect mouth. A mouth she longed to taste.

“What’s your name?”


“Tori what?” he pried further.

“Tori Myers.”

“I’m Chad. Chad Dearborn,” he said and stuck out his hand. “Now we know each other.”

“Do you have any idea where you are, Chad Dearborn?” Tori asked and shook his hand noting it was quite strong and smooth. She glanced down and saw his nails were neatly manicured. “Are you gay?”

“What kind of question is that?”

“Your nails,” Tori started and looked up to see the confusion in his eyes. He really was lost. “Never mind. You don’t really know what goes on in here do you?”

“I have a good idea. I can’t say I’d know what to do, but I’m pretty sure I know what goes on.”

“Wanna watch?” Tori asked and gave him a wicked grin. “Maybe after you see what I like, you’ll change your mind and go back to Kansas.”


“Never mind.” Tori took his hand and laughed. “Come on. Rio never minds sharing or the occasional peeper. I’ve never been shared, but there’s a first time for everything. Right?”

With a smile on her face, remembering that first night Chad agreed to play in one of her games, Tori laid the handcuffs down and picked up the new collar. It was red silk velvet and was studded with diamonds. Fifteen of them to be exact, and all at least a half carat in weight. The clasp and lock looked to be made of platinum and were also encrusted with diamond chips. Chad had gone all out and was apparently ready to play. He hadn’t been so eager that first night though. In fact, she’d had to tell him to leave.

Chad’s face was filled with fear and curiosity as Rio shackled Tori spread eagle between two posts in the public viewing room at Vertigo. Rio left the platform and approached Chad, who appeared to be debating whether he really wanted to watch or not.

“You sure you’re into this, man?” Rio asked with his hand on the other man’s shoulder. “This life isn’t for everyone, but if you want Tori and you’re willing to learn, I’ll teach you.”

“I’m not sure if I can,” Chad said in a wavering voice. “But I know I want her, and if this is what it takes to convince her, then I’m here and willing to try.”

Tori watched as Rio led Chad closer to her. Rio showed Chad where to stand in front of her and told him what was expected of a Dom in this position. Strength. He was to be Tori’s strength. It was a simple enough task. Be the strength. At least Tori thought it was simple enough. All the Doms and Masters she knew had no problem at all with this one simple task. Be the strength. It was the basic rule upon which all others were built.

“You’re gonna give Tori her strength, Chad,” Rio said, looking straight into his eyes.

“How? How do I do that from here and I’m not allowed to touch?” Chad asked, fisting his hands as his sides.

“Through your voice and your eyes. You tell her you’re her strength and you feed it to her through your eyes. Don’t let her look away.”

Chad nodded his head and turned to look at Tori. She was breathless at just the anticipation of what was to come. Tori craved the heat that would flood through her and puddle between her legs as the biting stings of Rio’s whip caressed her back. Depending on Chad to do his part, Tori held her head high and locked her eyes on his. The whirring of leather against air filled her ears and the first strike fell. Chad’s mouth fell open, but not one sound emerged. No praise of her strength of any kind crossed his lips. Snap! Again, Rio delivered a sharp blow to her back and Tori bit back a cry.

“Tori?” Chad whispered hesitantly. His pupils looked like saucers as disbelief and pain swirled around them. “I…”

“Talk to her, Chad,” Rio demanded and administered yet another blow. “Tell her she’s strong, give her your strength.”

Chad took two more steps toward her and stood with more fortitude. His doubt seemed to melt away replaced by a stance of command and he began to feed her.

“You’re doing great, baby,” he said, looking into her eyes, pointing at his. “Look at me. You’re so strong, but you can lean on me. I’m right here. If you need more strength just look at me.”

Tori was shocked that something instinctive took over Chad and he found all the right things to say to her. She’d never have thought the makings of a Dom were inside this evidently spoiled, sheltered rich boy. When Tori’s whimpers turned to cries, Rio stopped. He unshackled her and started to lead her away with Chad not far behind.

“Where are you going with her?” Chad asked.

“To a private room,” Rio said, stopping and turning back. “She needs relief.”

“Of course, pain meds or something.” Chad took a few steps and stopped at the sound of Tori’s voice.

“No, Chad, not that kind of relief,” Tori said. “It’s not the pain on my back that needs relieved as much as the pain between my legs. Unless you can stand to see another man fuck me, or you can stand to share me, you need to leave.”

“Another man? I thought…”

“Thought what? I was kidding about the sharing part? Rio would do all the work and let you reap the reward? I’m not yours. If you want me, you have to claim me. You haven’t yet, Rio did. And unless you can share, you need to leave.”

The look on Chad’s face twisted Tori’s heart. Tori knew that, although Chad had passed the first test, he wasn’t yet able to relieve the ache in her pussy, and he couldn’t stand to see Rio do it. He had to go.

“Go, Chad. This isn’t your lifestyle. You’ve seen enough for one night. Leave. Go back to you silver lined palace and forget you ever met me,” Tori told him as Rio tugged the chain attached to her metal studded black collar and she followed him away with tears flooding her eyes. Tears born of the pain biting the tender flesh on her back, the throb that steadily thrummed in her pussy, and the shredding sensation that encompassed her heart.

What Tori didn’t know then.

Lila Munro on the web:


Published By: Rebel Ink Press LLC
Published: March 8, 2011
ISBN # RIP0001024
Word Count: 26,000
Heat Level: 5


Rebecca said...

I enjoyed this book. Great combination of heat and heart. Most BDSM authors miss this in their stories, giving the reader only part of the experience. Will be watching for more books from Lila Munro.